ADHD and why boundaries aren’t the answer
Image: Art Wave
should you really still be defending your ways?
In an age of increased mental health awareness, value reassessment and prioritisation of ‘the self’, the word ‘boundaries’ comes up an awful lot more than it used to.
Indeed, the setting of boundaries is considered a badge of honour in some circles.
Which means you can no longer move around a workplace without tripping over at least one or two.
But this is also the age of equality and fairness.
A time when we can begin to imagine universal acceptance that divergent isn’t worse than typical.
It’s just about being different to the norm.
And being different to the norm is what leads to creativity and discovery and invention and progress.
That’s why us ADHDers – and all neurodivergent people – should move on from putting up boundaries, and instead lean towards shaping the environments we’re in.
By definition, boundaries are restrictive.
They might fly the flag for self care on the one hand, but they can be misinterpreted as dissent – defiance even – on the other.
At work, you no doubt have ways of going about things that are pretty unique to you.
Unconventional hours, let’s say.
The need for transcripts of meetings.
A preference for full-volume Beethoven in your AirPods over the cacophony of office noise.
Such quirks may fly in the face of workplace convention and the systems and processes that are mindlessly accepted as being ‘right’.
But they work for you. They’re a part of your own systems and processes – and they help you do amazing things.
Why should that have to be defended with passive-aggressive tenacity?
It should be explained without any sense of apology – and then appreciated for being the key to getting you into that zone where you do what you do best.
If you’ve disclosed your divergence to your boss and those you work alongside, then the adjustments put in are there to level the playing field from what suits a lot of other people to what suits you.
Which isn’t much to ask. But it does deliver something huge that any decent employer would want you to have…
…an equal chance of success.
Striving to achieve your best by putting up boundaries is so last year. Now it’s time to work with your boss to take down barriers instead.
Kev
If you have ADHD and are looking for advice on workplace disclosure, reasonable adjustments and your rights – or if you’re simply keen to realise your potential – please drop us an email or schedule a call today.
If you’re an employer looking to up-knowledge in the same areas, we’d be delighted to hear from you too.
Copyright © Kevin Exley 2023
You should not regard the information contained in this article/post as being, or as a replacement for, professional medical advice or treatment. The words contained herein represent the thoughts and opinions of the author, who is not clinically or medically trained.