adhd and the unherded mentality
Image: Will Bolding
what’s in a name? quite a lot, as it goes
Top tip: don’t register a company name without first checking it’s won't be forever defaulting to something else when typed.
(‘Unheeded’, in case you didn’t just try.)
Regardless of that mild irritation, ‘Unherded’ – as a handle – has always gone down quite well.
At times it's been a bit of a conversation-starter, too: 'cool name’ often followed by ‘what’s it stand for?’
‘What’s it getting at?’
Or ‘what’s its thing?’
So, as this is something that's happened twice already this week, here I am leaping upon the opportunity to offer an answer in a thinly veiled plug for all the positive steps Unherded is taking with so many ADHDers – and would love to achieve with you.*
Truth is, the name 'Unherded’ is born from the obvious logic you no doubt already assumed it was: that there’s positive energy to be found and enjoyed in breaking free from the masses and carving your own path.
Below the surface, however, it goes a little deeper – speaking to two distinct and fundamental beliefs about ADHD, each affecting clients’ lives in very different ways.
1. Self-respect
First up, we're saluting the freedom and liberation that a diagnosis for ADHD – or even just a suspicion of ‘being’ it – can bring.
In a world of systems, processes, rules and expectations – almost entirely designed by and for neurotypical minds – simply getting through the day in one piece can be hard for someone who’s built to march to the beat of a different drum.
OK, so the world around us is the way it is. That’s not going to change in any complete and perfect way within our lifetimes.
And so, to a point, it’s ‘on us’ to be realistic, and find the maturity and awareness to make adjustments – to master some of our challenges and take some of the bumps out of the ride.
But, importantly, there’s this too: overly forced conformity is never a good way to expel your energy – not when, within you, there’s the kind of creative passion and diversity of thought that, channelled the right way, can be the driving force to achieve incredible things.
In this first sense, then, ‘Unherded’ represents the self respect of having the courage to unshackle from the same-same and be true to what and who you really are.
OK?
On to the next.
2. Self-actualisation
One of the things that keeps ADHD coaching so fresh is the simple fact that no two conversations are ever the same.
The range of real-world symptoms ADHD brings is vast.
So vast, the condition is often misdiagnosed as something else. Or missed altogether – simply put down to quirks of personality without any dots being joined.
Sure, there are clear overlaps between many an ADHDer – some of its greatest hits, like rejection sensitivity, being fairly universal among ADHD adults (despite not being recognised as a medical diagnosis or even featuring on the diagnostic criteria).
But even common symptoms like this bring about very different experiences from one person to the next.
If ‘being ADHD’ were always a carbon copy presentation…
…if the reasons for it, and the neurology of it, were clearly understood and universally agreed upon by ‘the science’,…
..then I wouldn’t be offering 1-2-1 coaching to individuals, and inclusivity advice to businesses.
I’d be selling ‘fix your ADHD packs’ on Etsy and shipping them out at lightning speed.
In fact, I wouldn’t even be doing that, because someone else would have done it years ago and the market would be flooded and we’d all have been magically ‘cured’ by now anyway.
But ADHD isn’t yet clearly understood.
And the scientists don’t universally agree.
Relative to other areas of behavioural science, we’re largely still in the dark ages with this thing.
One evidence-based theory that continues to stand up well to all due scrutiny and peer review, however, is that both genetics and external influences contribute together to the likelihood of the condition showing up in a person.
If we accept this idea that external influences are a big part of it…
…that the environmental stresses and external influences we encounter in our formative years increase the likelihood of these genes being expressed…
…then it becomes easier to understand why and how ADHD is such a personal condition.
And why getting to the bottom of your own version of it is critical in finding and developing both the techniques that ease its challenges; and the strengths found within it that are there for the ADHDer to exploit.
That’s why, in this second sense, ‘Unherded’ represents the self-realisation that comes with understanding your own unique flavour of ADHD – in order to discover the changes you can adopt to make it work for you.
The self-respect of being true to who you really are.
And the self-actualisation to make your ADHD work for you.
That’s what ‘Unherded’ is about.
Because, when you get those things right, positive, transformative progress can take place.
And that has the power to change lives.
*Probably. I mean, I’m sure you’re awesome. And, chances are, this is the start of a really positive and productive relationship. But coaching is a two-way thing. Unherded’s ‘exploration calls’ (which, by the way, are free – both of obligation and charge) are there to provide client AND coach with a chance to gauge the chemistry and potential for success. In a space that’s increasingly occupied by less-experienced ADHD coaches, that’s an important thing.
Copyright © Kevin Exley 2023
You should not regard the information contained in this article/post as being, or as a replacement for, professional medical advice or treatment. The words contained herein represent the thoughts and opinions of the author, who is not clinically or medically trained.